


one time mistake

by alicemitch09



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, College AU, F/M, Lime, Swearing, bit of lime actually, you know the cliches that come with Terushima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 08:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12165645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicemitch09/pseuds/alicemitch09
Summary: It takes just one mistake to fuck up one's life the same way it could fuck up whatever chances of amends to make up for.





	one time mistake

**Author's Note:**

> To honor my friendship with a friend of mine I dedicate this fic to her, because she has a fic with Terushima in it, and it's sorta the same concept with it (but please check it out) and I was scared of even posting this until she encouraged me to write it anyway.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT

Beneath the strobe of lights, the stench of a mix between alcohol and expensive cologne, of bodies dancing grinding against each other to a blasting electronic music, stood a (hair color) beauty behind the bar counter. Expertly fixing drinks to her patrons while exchanging pleasantries every once in a while, all while making sure that their hands were off the merchandise – herself and the drinks.

She handled her drinks with precision, almost like she was dancing with them, producing a mighty show as she goes, never missing a beat to the music, before producing a sweet concoction.

"Hi sweetheart," a voice croons. Looking up from her (hair color) bangs, she found a light-haired lad leaning on the bar counter. "What's a pretty face like you doing in a place like this?"

Side-eyeing him the corner of her lips crooked into a smirk, fixing drinks with practiced ease before putting them on a tray and sliding them to him. "Getting away from jerks like you."

"Ouch, that was cold, (Nickname)."

She rolled her eyes, waving him off the bar counter. "Shut up and get back to work, Toru."

Pouting, the brunet takes the tray from the counter, gives her a tiny salute before disappearing into the crowd.

Working as a bartender part-time, while it paid rent and put three meals a day, definitely has its perks and downsides.

She'll admit that the thought of working as a bartender was intimidating and daunting, but it was actually kind of fun and entertaining, minus the patriots she attends to who were either sober idiots or drunk bastards. While she enjoyed the company of workmates who treat her like a precious little sister (being one of the youngest employees), she gets the hang of making drinks, though she does not enjoy being hit on by patrons.

Plus, it works for her as a working student.

Taking the towel from her shoulder, she deftly wipes the glass she was holding, smiling at some silly joke her co-bartender, Hanamaki, was cracking a joke with the other waiter, Matsukawa and Tendou. Iwaizuimi, the owner's nephew, walks up to the bar and greets her, flippantly telling them off to get back to work.

"Okay, okay, I got one," her brunet friend returns, clearing his throat before speaking in a smooth tone. "If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!"

She swore she could hear Tendou groan. "Toru," she throws the towel on her shoulder, planting her hands on her hip. "unless you have something to order, I'd suggest you get the fuck off the bar."

"Che, (Nickname), you're supposed to be helping me!" he whined, pouting childishly. "How else am I going to score a date?"

"You can start by telling me what you want." She lifted her nose haughtily in the air.

Groaning in defeat, Oikawa states the orders and (Name) was quick to fix the drinks.   
  
Just as Oikawa walked away from the bar, she called out. "The last one wasn't so bad, it just sucks coming from you!"

Almost everyone in the bar - patriots, and co-workers, laughed at that.

Amidst the laughter, a voice called out to her. She turned to the side, a smile readily on her face before it faded. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.

"Three beers please," he says, seemingly unaware of the strange expression looming on her face.

He still donned an undercut, except his hair was shorter, wilder, and he had his ears pierced. With a jolt, wordlessly, almost robotically, she nods and quickly fixes his order, all while avoiding his eyes.

She hands them to him, careful to not touch him.

"Much obliged." A quick smile and a nod, and he left.

Even as he left the counter, towards his friends, she watched him go. Blinking rapidly, she unconsciously touched her head and chest, letting out a heavy sigh.

 

...

 

The cool feel of water splashed on her face was a soothing feeling, making her skin tingle and her hair stick to her face. But it was enough to make her feel alive. Placing her hands on either side on the sink, she breathed through her mouth, wishing the water would cool her skin.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, (Name) let out a shaky breath.

The person in the mirror looked ghostly, pale. Her hair was a mess, sticking to her face, her (eye color) lacking its usual luster, looking aged and weary, her breathing uneven.

 _Calm down,_  she says to herself massaging her throbbing temples.  _It's been years. So_ many _years since._

Fragments of the past flashed through her mind, faint voices of the forgotten making a return. She felt goosebumps run through her skin.

Tightening her grip on the sink, she hung her head as she kept her breathing - inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Wow, it's been a while since she saw him – Terushima Yuuji.

 

...

 

She wished it was a onetime thing, that he was in town and left as soon as he came. After all, what business did he have here? The last she heard from him was ages ago, and she was sure that he was out for greener pastures in the big city.

Still, she had been more cautious now, knowing that he was around.

Just the thought of Terushima Yuuji in town sent a wave of panic down her senses, distracting her from her studies, her everyday life, and work. Work, most especially.

A few days later after his appearance and he was a no-show, much to her relief.

Just when she thought she could bury this down, a week later, she saw him from across the bar.

Their gazes met by pure coincidence.   
  
He was the same as ever – loud, devilishly handsome, and well-built. But he looked older.

He left as soon as he came. And (Name) swore that when he saw her, even from across the bar, a wave of recognition hit him.

“(Last name), are you alright? You don’t look so good.” Iwaizumi asked.

Shaking her head, she puts a hand on the counter to steady herself. “I don’t feel so good, I think I’ll head home.”

The spiky-haired lad nods, letting her leave the bar. A minute after she left, the door closing swinging shut, a certain lad approached the bar.

 

...

 

Pulling her jacket on, reveling in its warmth, she drew a breath – relieved that work was over, it’s been a hectic day. But it was a Friday, a weekend, bars tended to be at its zaniest then. Also, it’s been days since she last saw him. What a relief...

Some of the co-workers were planning to get some late-night meal, although she wanted to tag along, she really wanted to go home and rest. (And do some light studying)

Pushing the door open she almost missed a lone figure standing opposite to the exit, back against the wall, smoking. At the sight of her, he quickly tossed his stick. "(Last name)?"

She flinched, frozen on spot, tensing up a bit.

“Is that you, (Last name)?”

Biting her lip, squeezing her eyes shut, she slowly turned to the man, fixing a tight smile on her face. "U-Uh, hey..."

"It really  _is_  you, (Last name)!" he laughed, walking up to her a bit awkwardly. "Hi, how've you been?"

Her breath came out in puffs, it was winter after all. "Great." she lied. "How about you?"

"Oh, you know-"  _No, she doesn't know_. "College and stuff, all that shit. What've you been up to?"

"School, work, life," she answered monotonously.

"Cool, cool. By the way, speaking of work, I didn't know you worked here! How cool is that?"

"Yeah," she laughed dryly, surprised that the conversation was still going.

Up close, she could see the difference in his look – his hair was longer than the last she saw him, which was over weeks ago, the tips of his hair were dyed blonde, the roots were its natural brown, he had a bit of a scruff, piercings decorated his ears, and she could faintly make out a tattoo on his hands and neck. He was every bit of the bad boy she remembered - still the same old Terushima, yet at the same time, he seemed different.

Terushima took a good look at her, giving her a look from head to toe. "You look great, (Last name)."

"...thanks," she replied meekly, running out of words to say. What she didn’t understand was him being here in front of her, why was he here?  _What_  was he doing here?

A chatter came from behind her, she nearly sighed in relief.

"Oi (Nickname), you ready to-" Oikawa stopped, realizing she was not alone. "Oh, who is this?"

She opened her mouth, then closed it, not knowing how to respond to that.

"Terushima Yuuji…uh…" Shit, why couldn’t she just have ended it there? The said man eyed her with interest, waiting for her to finish the sentence. “…a-a friend, an old friend.”

She missed the look on both their faces at the last statement, having stared at her boots for far too long. Exhaling, her breath swirling in the cold air, she approached the brunet.

“Anyway, it was nice seeing you again, Terushima.” Putting her hand on the brunet’s back, she began to push him forward. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

 

…

 

“(Nickname), you’re not a very good liar.” The brunette says to her for what seemed like forever, their apartment building in sight.

“…I know.” She mumbles, following after him through the elevator.

“I’m worried.” He punches their floor, a soft whir and they were hoisted up.

“…I know.” She mumbled again, burying her hands in her pockets.

“You should’ve seen his face when you called him ‘an old friend’ in a forced voice.”

She didn’t answer him, hiding her face with her bangs, feeling slightly guilty knowing that he ditched the invite to eating out with the rest of the guys just to see her off. He was a good friend like that.

Finally reaching their apartment, she nods at him, plastering a smile on. “Thanks for walking me home, Toru. I’ll see you.”

Closing the door on her close friend was hard, but she knew he knew that she didn’t want to deal with this now. The walk home felt longer than it should, every step felt like she was walking on lead, even after she fell on her sheets. Her studying forgotten, she felt like reaching for her phone, to call a friend.

No, she didn’t want to bother him at this time especially with a familiar subject matter.

Laying on back, she could hear rustles outside her door before hearing another door close. Exhaling deeply, she placed an arm over her eyes.

She hoped to never see him again.

 

...

 

So, the thing was, she could  _not_ see him again. Lest avoid him since he had  _just_  transferred to her school and practically shared the same classes with her – she was an HRM student and he was talking up economics, almost forgetting how, despite his looks, he was ridiculously smart.

Strange enough, he stuck to her. She knew how good he was with people, how he could quickly make friends, but he stuck to her. And strange enough, he got along just fine with her set of friends, having found something that tied them together – volleyball.

Wow, the universe seemed to be shitting with her.

Why oh, why hadn’t she been in Kobe with her dear friend – Chikara? Why oh, why hadn’t she thought of getting into the same school as him? (Even though she knows he’ll be taking filmography and he was smart enough to pass for it) It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the company of her current set of friends, she just wished that her already annoying set of friends wouldn't be added by someone much more annoying.

She sighed, couldn’t imagine how stressful her life has been.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she turned her head, only to feel something cool press against her cheek. She jumped back, pressing her cheek with her hand, only to find a smiling Terushima Yuuji, holding out a cold soda in hand.

“Terushima!” she exclaimed, watching him sit beside her. “You scared me.”

He didn’t even try to hide his smile – the ever-mischievous look painted his handsome face, making her incredibly wary.

“Sorry not sorry,” he says, running a hand through his hair, that mischievous smile of his broadened.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable under his stare, she hung her head low, fiddling with her fingers. “W-What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Meh, class ended early. The professor wasn’t around. Plus, I happened upon you and you seemed pretty stressed.” His expression softened quickly, brown eyes gentle. “Is something wrong?”

His answer took her off guard. She never realized that he had probably been watching her while she sunk in despair at the thought of him. He didn’t even realize that it was  _because_ of him that she was this stressed.

Instead of answering him verbally, she settled with shaking her head. He sighed, judging by how heavy of a sigh it was, she knew it wasn’t the answer he wanted.

Inching closer, he held out the soda to her. “Here,”

She gawked at him, taken by his sudden kindness. Taking the drink from his hand, she was just about to push the cap open when a memory of her drenched came to mind. She froze, feeling her tips began to shake.

“(Last name)? What’s wrong?”

She couldn’t answer him or even look at him.

Instead, she just took her bag and left, leaving him behind and the unopened can.

 

…

 

Electricity sparked in the air as the beat of music rose, the smell of alcohol and cologne mixing in – strangely enough, they were all comforting. It’s probably because the nature of her work, but the aura of the bar gave her an unexplainable sense of ease. After all, she was just a bartender who people came to just to get their drinks before leaving her for someone else. Being behind the bar gave her a sense of security, dividing her from the rest, her little pedestal.

“Hey there little lady,” her brown-haired friend swooped up, resting his arm on the counter to look suave. “Did you feel the earth shake? Or did you just rock my world?”

Yamagata, the other bartender, groaned.

“Toru, that’s the oldest pick-up line ever.”

Pouting, he stood a bit straighter. “But hey, it works, right?”

Rolling her eyes, she leaned over, resting her chin on her palm. “Just tell me what you want so you can leave.”

Pouting even more at his friend’s lack of support, he relays his customer’s orders, which she was quick to hand out to him. A dark-haired waitress approaches her, calls for a certain drink mix.

“Sounds complicated,” she smiles, already preparing the ingredients.

“Hey (Name)-chan, give us a show!” one of her usual patrons call out.

Side-eyeing Yamagata, his thick brows flashing twice, she tosses the mixer to him, entertaining the guests on his side while entertaining hers on her side.

Flairtending was honestly one of the reasons she took up her course because she’s always wanted to man a bar and had a knack for tossing and juggling. Her first few days were training to flair under Yamagata (who was also taking up HRM), in between shifts, trying not to break something that deducted her pay. It took some time, but here she was now, two years later, wowing the crowd with a few flips and a drink.

When they were done, the bar erupted in thunderous applause, the two bowed, Yamagata, ruffling her hair affectionately. She was smiling so hard right now, freeing herself from her co-bartenders hold to fill four glasses before handing them out to her waiting waitress. Business slowly resumed.

“Excuse me?”

She turned, her smile waning at the sight of Terushima.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” he points at the waitress, her face red as she walks off with the drinks she just made. Nodding, she gestured for the ingredients and a glass, her confidence earlier gone, it was a miracle she had even finished making his drink.

“H-Here,” she pushed his drink towards him. He stares at his drink, not quite touching it yet.

“(Last name), can we talk?”

“This is not place to talk,” she replied, rather coldly, something he didn’t expect. And he didn’t, expression falling as she busied herself with work, dismissing the crestfallen look on his eyes.

Hours later, as she walked out of the building, she finds Terushima waiting for her outside, smoking again. He looked down when he heard her walking towards him, footsteps crunching in the snow. She gave him a pointed look, arms crossed against her chest. Sighing, he took one last inhale of his stick before throwing it away.

He turned his head to the side, exhaling through his nose – a flurry of maddened clouds whisking in the air. Terushima looked conflicted, even when he had his smoke, she thought he was going to reach for another, but he turned to her.

“(Last name), c-can you tell me something...” His voice was raspy, desperate, gone was its usual playful tone. Though the light was horrible, he wasn’t red – which was a relief. “For some reason, I get the feeling that you’re avoiding me.”

His statement threw her off guard. “Why would you think that?”

The blond scoffed, offended. “Come on, (Last name), we both know why given our history.”

Despite herself, she laughed dryly. “Didn’t know you cared.” As she itched her nose, she caught sight of his cigarette, noticing that it was still lit. “And here I thought I was just a good lay.”

Terushima swallowed dryly, clearing his throat to catch her attention. “I want you to know that I’m genuinely sorry for everything that I’ve done to you. Can we start over?”

She sighed, watching from the corner of her eye smoke dance in the cold winter air, the light flickering until its gone. “No, we can’t.”

 

…

 

Truth be told, her history with Terushima was not for the faint of heart.

She knew him from when they were teens, having gone to the same high school.

She liked him for years, long before he got his hair dyed and his tongue pierced. They were friends first, she always kept him at arm’s length because of his fame. And then, out of the blue, he asked her out.

She said no, skeptical about his intentions.

But Terushima was persistent, he wouldn’t give up on her easily.

Eventually, she said yes.

Despite being polar opposites, they had a steady relationship being able to balance each other out. And it was a comfortable relationship as well.

Surprisingly, not only is Terushima a sneaky little thing, but he can be sweet, sincere, and extremely childish. Some days, it felt like she was dating a child.

The further they were in their relationship, the more she got to really know him – that he’s the youngest and he tended to be spoiled by his step-dad, that his mom had a list of threats should his grades plummet, that he once dreamed to be a news anchor, and that he enjoyed watching classic films. In turn, he got to really know her as well.

The further they were, the deeper she fell for him. As their feelings progressed, their innocence was slowly stripped.

But she was happy, so long as it was with him.

What can she say? She was a love-struck fool who was ready to surrender everything for him. And she was a fool for it.

But one day, he was suddenly cold with her, acted indifferent around her and even flirted with girls in  _her_  presence!

Although confused, she remained her composure and patient around him, because she loved him. Oh, what a fool she was.

The days didn’t get any better and he was treating her worse and worse, to the point of bullying her.

It all came crashing down when she discovered that it had all been a bet.

Terushima broke up with her one day, laughing to her face at how it wasn’t real, that it had been a bet to make some random girl fall for him and be in a relationship with her that lasted more than a month. Bonus points if he got her to sleep with him.

And to make matters worse, a video had been circulating around school – a rather, explicit video.

The worse part was, she didn’t even know about it! One of their most intimate moments, shared around.

Who was she kidding? It might be her at her most vulnerable, surrendering it to a boy she thought loved her, but to him, it was a boost to his ego.

The whole school knew, labeled her a 'slut' and a 'whore'. Her friends slowly abandoned her, talked behind her back.

And, where was he? Safe and sound, with a new girl on his shoulders. Never in her life had she felt so attacked, so miserable, and so stupid.

The whole year came like a blur, she couldn't recover from the humiliation and pain. Every day, she was walking on pins and needles, her actions were almost robotic.

Humiliated and hurt, she ran home.

Unable to take it, she begged her parents to move her to another school. And they did.

Karasuno was a where she found herself again, where she started building herself again. It just so happened that their neighbor was a good friend of her parents, and they had a son – Chikara. With his help, she was able to start anew and even befriended the volleyball club – which he was a part of. Even though she turned down the invitation to become the club manager, she was able to build strong ties with each team member.

She felt safe and secure with them, her past long behind her.

 

...

 

"Well, well, well, look who we got here!"

The hairs behind her neck stood up, goosebumps running across her body. She didn’t expect them here, quickly running to hide behind Chikara.

She just came to watch their game, to give her support when their paths just had to cross. But of course, their paths  _had_  to cross a year later. How could she forget that Terushima was a volleyball player?

“(Last name)?” Chikara turned to her, she tightened her hold on his jersey jacket, refusing to show herself. Worried about his friend’s strange behavior, he excused themselves and hurried towards a corner where she could breathe. Thankfully, the Johzenji team – particularly Terushima, were talking up with the team – Hinata specifically, as they were bent on beating them this time.

She thought that was the last she saw of him, even going so far as to keep her distance when she was watching the games. But when the day was over and the team was finishing up, Terushima found her, asking if they should talk. Although every ounce of her gut was saying no, she found herself listening to him apologizing to her for what he did to her. And then they became friends, sort of. Except friends didn’t call each other at godly hours, exchange flirty texts, and go on dates.

Just when she thought he had changed, she found out that they made another bet – to see if he can get her to sleep with him again. Never had she been more humiliated and broken, had she ever wanted to disappear on the face of the earth.

The second time was the worst, but she didn’t move away – Torono was far enough from Johzenji. Instead, she decided to build herself from the bottom-up, that that was the last time. Thankfully, she had some guidance with the amazing set of friends she’s made. And with their help, she was able to overcome her short depressing phase, suppressing the past with a brand-new thirst for bettering herself, graduate, and her future.

Things just had to come crashing down with his coming.

 

...

 

After rejecting Terushima’s offer of friendship, she thought that it was the last she saw of him.   
  
“Hey (Last name),” a smiling Terushima asked. “this seat taken?”

But of course, things didn’t go according to plan. Instead of respecting her wishes, he was persistent with trying to mend things with her. He was still friends with her friends, but when it came to her, she was a special case. Even her roommate noticed.

Blinking at him once, unfazed by his smile, she coldly replied. “Yes.”

He flinched a little, a bit miffed at her animosity but played it off. Casually, he sat across her, putting down his cup of coffee – her Chai tea was half-empty and beginning to get cold. Deciding to ignore him, she shook her head and returned to her notes.

Silence ensued between them, soft music playing through the speakers accompanied by gentle whispers of people talking – enough to seem like a comforting environment. Almost, had Terushima not appeared.

After a careful and thorough look at Terushima Yuuji now, she could conclude that indeed, with time, people change. But he was still that asshole she knew then – loud, juvenile, flirty.

“Do you always study here?” he asked as she pulled the cap off her highlighter.

“Is that any of your business?” she answered, highlighting important details before transferring it on her notes.

He shrugged, cupping his hands on his hot drink. She knew that he knew that she had no plans of lowering her guard around him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try. Their friendship – to say the least, was almost platonic, sardonic. Just talking to her felt like he was treading on thin ice.

“But seriously, was this seat taken?”

Exhaling through her nose, dragging her hand through her face, she peered at him. “No. It’s an excuse called, warding people off.”

“That ain’t smart of you, now is it?” he said laughingly.

“I just don’t want people sitting across me when I’m studying.”

“Well for one, still not a good idea, since the library’s the best place to study. Not that I’m judging you.” He raised his hands as if to say, ‘no offense’, before resting them on the table, looking around. “But I see the appeal. Plus, now you have me, and I’m great at warding off unwanted people. Plus, it’ll seem like we’re on a study date.”

_Was he hitting on her or is he hinting something?_

Dismissing the thought, she rolled her eyes and took a sip of her Chai tea – never minding that it had cooled down. Thinking she could use a break, she leaned back in her seat and looked outside the glass window. Just looking out made it feel like she was looking in from a snow globe, everything seemed grander from the outside.

Licking his lips, he casually asks. "So, are you seeing anyone?"

She watched him with guarded eyes. "No, I'm not."

"Eh? Why not?" He asked, looking genuinely surprised.

Shrugging, she returned to her notes, idly tapping her pen against her notes. "Too busy, I guess, got no time to fool around." She says easily, her words meaning to puncture at him. But the smile on his face remains, giving nothing away.

"That's a shame, I mean, you're a catch."

Yep, he was definitely hitting on her. And it was making her uncomfortable. Given their history, she sure as heck wouldn't trust herself to have to do anything with Terushima Yuuji ever again. No sir, she's had her fun.

 

...

 

And as it turns out, he  _was_  hitting on her. To put it simply, he was pursuing her – it was not a fun time.

He definitely was not being subtle with his liking towards her in public – wanting her to call him by his first name, offering to hold her books, walking close to her when they walked down the hall, even offering to walk her home after work or school!

It definitely was not a fun time.

His last offer was a stretch, considering she already had roommates like Oikawa and Iwaizumi to walk her home.

When the day ends and she was left on her own, her mind befuddled at the very idea that history seemed to be repeating itself. She will not lie, she still liked him and she hated herself for it.

For years, she’s had to deal with tormenting thoughts on her image, the anxiety of meeting new people, of ever trusting anyone ever again. For fuck’s sake, she’s gone through Terushima Yuuji twice,  _twice!_

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. What’ll happen the third time? She didn’t know. Better yet, she never wants to know.

Which is why she turned down all of his advances towards her, for the sake of safeguarding her already fragile heart. But surprisingly, Terushima was considerate.

Still, she couldn’t lower her guard around him.

He may be hitting on her, but he still entertained girls. That was enough for her to justify that he was playing again.

She cried herself to sleep since then, wondering to the high heavens why of all people did they have to fuck with her? What did she ever do in her past life to deserve this? When she’s cried enough, she came to a decision.

 

…

 

After a night spent, an end of the semester party where they invited to a frat party, she decided that this would be Terushima Yuuji's last hurrah. He won. He got her. He had the last laugh.

Untangling herself from him, she carefully picked up and put on her clothes. Her lower regions sore, from countless rounds. Her body was littered with all sort of marks, a remnant of her night with him. But like all scars, with time, they fade. It hurt to know that she was probably another fuck, just like in high school.

Terushima was out, having drunken way too much. She had little to drink, despite having a moderate alcohol tolerance. Her hands balled into a fist, stopping herself from wanting to run them through his hair.

Biting her lower lip, holding in her sobs, she made way for the door – back to reality, a reality she's come to accept: he hasn’t changed, and neither has she. But this is the last time. The last time.

The door closed shut behind her, tears streaming down her face before she could stop them. His apartment was quiet. She imagined the number of girls he'd bring home, her heart breaking as she realized that she was one of those girls.

 _One last time_. She told herself. This was the last time she'll make a fool out of herself for him.

After that, she'll move on.

Her shoes were on the floor, she plucked them up, not bothering to put them on and walked towards the door.

Just as she was about to reach for the doorknob, a force grabs her by the arm – making her drop her shoes – turning her around, and slamming her back against the door to meet angry brown eyes.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Her mouth dried at the sight of him. "T-Terushima-"

"NO, IT’S YUUJI,” he corrected, voice rising. “NOT TERUSHIMA. YUUJI! AND I ASKED WHERE YOU WERE GOING."

"Home," she spat, angry tears flowing freely. "I'M GOING HOME OKAY?"

He pulled away in disbelief, bloodshot eyes wide, hurt crossing his features. "I can't believe you think so low of me," his voice was soft, hurt. "Then again, I was such an asshole to you."

 _You were,_  she wanted to say but couldn’t. She couldn’t even look at him without feeling sorry for him, a part of her hated herself for ever thinking he deserved her sympathy.

One of his hands cups her cheek, lifting it to meet his gaze – brown eyes soft and gentle. "(Name), I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry."

She shook her head. "It's okay, you never liked me back."

"No, that's not it-!"

“Who am I, right? Just another one in your long lists of bets, your quickest little fuck?” pulling away, the pain was evident even in his eyes.

“No!” he sputtered, pleadingly. “That’s not-“words on the tip of his tongue fell at the shake of her head, the anger and hurt in his eyes, the realization of the weight of what he’s done to her. It may be years since, but she never really got over it, she was as broken as ever. And just as she pieced herself back, here he is, threatening to watch her crumble when he really wants to try and fix things. But just seeing the pieces of herself break in front of him, knowing that it was his fault, all because of that stupid one time mistake, he knew it was impossible to even try.

“(N-Name),” her name sounds so foreign coming out of his mouth. “I never realized…I’m so sorry…”

Unable to stand in his presence any longer, she picked her shoes in a hurried pace and made for the door.

“I love you, (Name).” he called out, she could hear the heartbreak in his voice, her grip on the handle tightened.

With what little pride she had left for herself, she turned the knob. With the door shut behind her, she closed a chapter of her life with Terushima Yuuji for good, left him to wallow in his sins he could never make up for.


End file.
